(Everyone's triggers and sensitivities are different and that's perfectly okay. Put in your earbuds and go for a run or a long walk. Turn on some music. Did you have any tastes? If you're a Hunger Games fan, you can think of it as the Real or Not Real game with a loved one or parts inside.). You can make them either discrete or super bold depending on your living situation or understanding of those around you. Engage in more elaborate internal communication if not. Color breathing is a coping skill that combines imagery with breathing to" Color breathing is a coping skill that combines imagery with breathing to modulate intense feelings, calm one's" These things are as much your foundation as being grounded is. If you arent sure if something youre feeling, seeing, hearing or thinking is real, ask a safe friend to help you decide what is fact from fiction, flashback from present, old trauma messages or your current situation. What about the sun? Or, just make up your own new game! Sip it before putting anything in it. Notice how it feels both weird and rhythmically calming at the same time. Notice as you regain your balance and coordination from when you started. Sip it before putting anything in it. I have children/a spouse/a partner now. Then fix it how you like it. Each excruciating detail of physical pain, disgust, and revulsion;every tidal wave of anger at those who knew and did nothing;each immobilizing shockwave of new material that re-writes my entire life story from how I once knew it. Turn down a TV or stop music that might be playing. Feel your shoulders and arms flop and flounce about. Try to label 5 things you can see, 5 things of a single color, 5 things of one shape. Vocalize. In time, consider opening this exploration up with a trusted partner/spouse. TFEC.orgPA Department of State Information: The official registration and financial information of TFEC may be obtained from the Pennsylvania Department of State by calling toll free, within Pennsylvania: 800.732.0999. You require it. Grounding 101: Featuring 101 Grounding Techniques. We want safer driving here, not less!). (This ones harder! Shake it off like T Swifty and feel the blood as it rushes through you and your limbs buzz as you re-awaken and re-enter your body. Reclaim your worth. Trace all the fabrics and seams of furniture or clothing articles within reach. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Use your imagery techniques - particularly for pain or intense emotions. There are many, many other grounding tools, as well as a more detailed explanation as to why and how they are helpful, in our aforementioned article, so we'll move on to our next step to not be redundant! ), If youre struggling with derealism, start naming all the things you know to be inarguably true. Open up your body so wide and press your feet firmly into the ground. The best and only thing to do after something goes wrong is to practice some self-kindness. If you are currently with a provider you frequently cancel on, dont feel listens to you, makes you feel bad about yourself, or isnt helping you achieve your goals, make a plan to end care with them and have a replacement lined up. Try to be extra responsible during the rough moments -even if your whole bodys zinging or feels like you're going to burst. Inhale strong fragrances (they don't have to be pleasant!). Get the blood flowing. What do they smell like? If you are in a car (passenger or driver), adjust the seat into a different position - even one thats just slightly uncomfortable. Turn on a playlist youve made just for these self-care days/moments. I can feel it getting easier already. Hips and shoulders. A change of scenery can do a lot, even if you dont know why the first place was causing you so much grief. Sit your phone across the room and spend at least 30 minutes doing something entirely different. Express forgiveness, love, and understanding for young you. Then unisex. what you'll do for self-care. ) Remember: You have a voice. In previous articles, we have talked a fair bit about flashbacks, particularly offering several tools and strategies to manage them. YOU have a chance to be in control and to be the benefactor of that gift what a remarkable shift in dynamics from what youve always known. But, when were taken care of and thoughtful to ourselves and our bodies, we are not only healthier, were better humans to those we love and care about. Watch a cartoon or kids movie - particularly if you have younger parts inside who need the comfort. When youre feeling calmer, slowly start orienting yourself back to your current surroundings. Feel your fingers tapping the glass as you type and try hitting all the right letters. ", "This is temporary. We do know it can sometimes feel impossible to practice grounding before you've put a memory away, especially if that memory is what's fueling your dissociation and making you ungrounded. Slowly work up to bending your knees and elbows. We were forced to be tougher than most; and, by nature or necessity, we became resilient, creative and sharp. List them to yourself as you do so. Or try to come up with silly pets names for each letter instead. Wear it for you. Hurr huh hurrrrr., Flashbacks 101:4 Tools to Cope with FlashbacksSelf-Care 101:101 Grounding TechniquesDistraction 101:101 Distraction ToolsNighttime 101andNighttime 201:Sleep Strategies for Complex PTSDImagery 101:Healing Pool and Healing LightDID Myths:Dispelling Common Misconceptions about Dissociative Identity DisorderDid You Know? I am worthy, even if that's hard to believe right now. It is healthy, helps keep you planted in reality, and reminds you of the power you have now that you didnt before. If youre in the bathroom, head to the dining room. Experiment with selfies. List or write down your feelings in that moment. If youre in the living room, go to the kitchen. It's often with the counterintuitive desire to protect or is being used as a means of communication. Internal communication is a bit more specific to those with DID/OSDD, but can still be applicable to those with C-PTSD or PTSD in different ways. Put in your earbuds and go for a run or a long walk. What does it smell like? Self-talk during a flashback can be part of your grounding or be used to keep you calm and steady while you employ other techniques. Similarly, experiment with safe sensuality. I have children/a spouse/a partner now. Look what arrived in the mail this past weekend for our #GivingTherapyBoxes donation drive!! ", Grounding 101:101 Grounding TechniquesFlashbacks 101:4 Tools to Cope with FlashbacksNighttime 101and Nighttime 201:Sleep Strategies for Complex PTSDImagery 101:Healing Pool and Healing LightDID Myths:Dispelling Common Misconceptions about Dissociative Identity DisorderDid You Know? Roll your wrists. Do something goofy - particularly if you are in NO mood for nonsense. A texture? Eat a meal or snack. Disengage from anything thats too overstimulating. Do a face mask or use some other self-care toiletries to freshen up. You may find that what you thought would never work for you may be the most effective thing you've ever tried! Consider making a personal 1-10 scale and describe what a 5 looks like versus a 2, a 7 or a 10. Or try to come up with silly pets names for each letter instead. Take your current nail polish off if you have any on. Can it be shared with me what I did wrong or which rules I broke without this flashback? Notice all the different flavors and textures and scents. Move your thighs and calves around until you feel all that fresh blood finding them. Good luck! Recall all the times you felt this way to motivate you to get started on whatever it is that you need to do! Stretch. Exhale longer than you inhale. Hurr huh hurrrrr., Flashbacks 101:4 Tools to Cope with FlashbacksSelf-Care 101:101 Grounding TechniquesDistraction 101:101 Distraction ToolsNighttime 101andNighttime 201:Sleep Strategies for Complex PTSDImagery 101:Healing Pool and Healing LightDID Myths:Dispelling Common Misconceptions about Dissociative Identity DisorderDid You Know? I didn't have a laptop or desktop computer like this." Feel all the parts of your body slowly come back to life. Try to say ridiculous tongue-twisters. Start back at the beginning of this list and come back into the room, into the present, and into your body. Some activities may also be triggering for one survivor but just the ticket for someone else. ), Stretch. Pleasant or grating? Some questions you can ask alters/your mind: (Then, open yourself up to allow the answers), "Is there a reason I'm being shown this flashback right now? Inhale the scent deep into your lungs. The goal is just to be aware of where they are at, not necessarily improving or changing them (unless you want to). Explore services that could help you find solutions if you dont even know what those might look like. Just keep moving along until you find the next good one for you!) I have the power now.. What are you going to do during to keep yourself steady? Notice all the different flavors and textures and scents. By J. Aaron Sanders | 2020-08-05T15:21:49+00:00 August 5th, 2020 | Toolkit , Uncategorized | 0 Comments Sit in peace in a bedroom or unoccupied room for a moment. Do you like them? Make those calls. Just like before, your needs matter. Open up your body. Grass or dirt? In your time, control, and say so. And, meeting our needs helps more than just us. Arizona Lindsey We talked about: Indentifying your Baseline Vulnerabilities Grounding Building your own Grounding Kit!. Send text messages or write yourself a note on your phone. The narrative, information, sequence of events? :8 Things We Should All Know about C-PTSD and DID Article Index, Tagged: complex ptsd, complex post traumatic stress disorder, c-ptsd, ptsd, post traumatic stress disorder, dissociative identity disorder, DID, dissociation, BPD, mental health, mental illness, holidays, holiday season, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, family, familial abuse, family dynamics, resources, recovery, healing, wellness, grounding, support, survivor, trauma survivor. Remind yourself of the date, your age, where you are, and that you're safe now. I can drive now. ..where you live. What did you believe was happening or think to yourself as this moment was occurring? You are allowed to set boundaries for yourself, to say no, to change your mind and to make choices that honor you. If youre outside, go somewhere new. You may be able to send an SOS to a trusted friend that includes your location and 5 seconds of video/audio if desired. Notice all the traits of living a very adult life - one that has control, power, and say-so that young you didnt. It also reminds you that you HAVE a voice. Leave crowded or busy rooms. But I want Adult Me to be credited for not only surviving more anguish, but for learning to LIVE, too. Describe them to yourself. We are dedicated to providing survivors of childhood trauma with access to, and funding for, therapeutic and . Trial and error is another key here! Play a guitar or piano, or other instrument (if thats something you can do). No one is presently harming me. Use safe place imagery if you are having no luck orienting with your present surroundings. Stay grounded. Sing. Notice how it feels to be disconnected from that world and engaged with the one directly around you. Also, flashbacks stem from a completely different section of our daily-functioning brain. (You may need a friend to help you and thats okay. Turn on some pumped up music and just dance, rock out, sing, let go shame free. Take several deep deep breaths. Write down whats happening - particularly if its upsetting. Or try to come up with silly pets names for each letter instead. Note to yourself the difference between the cool buttons, rougher denims, soft smooth surfaces, and jagged zippers. We all need a good cry and to feel safe enough to express whats been stuck. Take some pictures on your phone or with a digital camera. Then try rolling your ankles. While it may not always be comfortable to be grounded, and can sometimes even be downright agonizing (particularly when one is experiencing intense or upsetting emotions, physical pain,or any unpleasant life circumstance),it is the only way to ensure basic safety as well as prevent additional psychological symptoms. .youll soon be dying over the sound that just escaped your mouth and the ridiculous face you just made trying. That said,some of the very best options out there can take some time, and a lot of practice, before you've shaped them into that go-to symptom management tool you can pull on any time. Watch something on Netflix or Hulu. (..your gaze, not parts ;) ), If you are the driver, keep your eyes peeled for green cars. Hold a stuffed animal, soft blanket, or other comfort item. If you are lying in bed when it begins, sit up. If its a particularly long drive, play the alphabet game (but not to the point of real distraction. Give them love. Animate or inanimate? Thin or thick? Play a sport or do a physical activity you love (even if youre no good at it anymore!). Movement. Like most all means of sheer survival, dissociation has its pros and cons. Disengage from staring off or focusing too intently on one object or area for too long. Dislike them? Honor that and give it a voice. You cant hear! Incentivize. But, if you aren't there yet, or if you don't have differentiated alters at all, you can still send these thoughts back into your mind and see what bubbles up. As always with trauma, not all of these suggestions will work for you. If you are lying in bed when it begins, sit up. This can be really incredibly useful for many, but can be trancing for others at first. ", "This will not last forever. Grounding 101:101 Grounding TechniquesDistraction 101:101 Distraction ToolsSelf-Care 101:101 Self-Care TechniquesNighttime 101andNighttime 201:Sleep Strategies for Complex PTSDImagery 101:Healing Pool and Healing LightDID Myths:Dispelling Common Misconceptions about Dissociative Identity DisorderDid You Know? Its one of the most fail-proof ways to get more grounded (even for those whose default coping mechanism is humor and avoidance. For those new in their healing, options that are very straightforward and uncomplicated can be their greatest lifeline. (You can learn more about what it means to be grounded, as well as have an entire list of 101 Grounding Techniques at your fingertips, right here on our website!) Beauty After Bruises is a project of The Foundation for Enhancing Communities, . Write a personal letter of self-forgiveness. And the BEST part is that you get to add your own and share with other survivors who are in the same place as you. Are there other ways you could get my attention that don't include re-traumatizing me? Referring to these can save you a ton of mental energy when you find yourself in a sudden and intense spell of dissociation and can't even remember what you're supposed to do or think or what coping skills even are. Chew gum, eat mints, or suck on sours. Journal. These are my car keys. The reasons can be extremely vast and layered. To add insult to injury, an upsetting number of trauma survivors are grappling with chronic physical health issues, too - most of which came as a result of their trauma, whether they realize that relationship or not. Its okay if they're "worse". Your skin and potential furniture items will not appreciate an accident.). Turn on some music. It is all day. Send text messages or write yourself a note on your phone. Here are 101 tools for practicing self-care! It may come as a surprise to some, but alters in a DID/OSDD system, or even just parts of a less compartmentalized C-PTSD individual, are capable of sending flashbacks your way on purpose. Squeeze or massage your muscles. Keep textured items in your pockets, bags, and/or car. Write a note to someone, or even yourself. Please don't hesitate to share some of your go-to strategies for flashbacks below and consider bookmarking this page for quicker, more direct access should you need it while you're struggling! ), pets you now have, etc. There are many, many other grounding tools, as well as a more detailed explanation as to why and how they are helpful, in our aforementioned article, so we'll move on to our next step to not be redundant! (If youre too dissociated, immediately pull over and start re-grounding while sitting still before driving again.). Sit your phone across the room and spend at least 30 minutes doing something entirely different. It will continue to find you in this timeline. (Also, bringing music that REALLY pumps you up can really help you stay grounded if you're struggling with showers.). This can be incredibly trancing for some without realizing it. ;). There's no shame or guilt to be had if you just can't try something. Get a cold, cold glass of water. Youll end up cracking up (or being so annoyed!) Keep your phone on you to play music or engage in interactive apps whenever you feel yourself drifting. Because, I should feel free. Express whats on your heart and mind. Whether this is done in the form of a letter, email, phone call, or face to face discussion, know your limits and then set them with others. Notice the intense flavor and powerful scent. We cannot wait to hear about your journey with greater self-empathy and learning the positive impact that taking ownership of your life can create. Being able to look around, connect, and believe the world is still good is vital to our sanity, safety and healing. If they were a color, what would they be? All it takes is a small start, don't worry about the rest until you're there. Knowledge What were you intellectually aware of at the moment (the who, what, when, where, how)? Snuggle up with a suuuuper soft and snuggly blanket or robe. Forgetting any of these basic needs can make you more vulnerable to symptoms, which can lead to a full unravelling later. Personalization is key when it comes to grounding. Take several deep deep breaths. Do imagery exercises where you are able to fly, drift weightlessly atop clouds, swim without holding your breath, swing on a trapeze, or be wrapped up in hanging silks, etc. If you already have some well-established communication inside of your mind, you can certainly ask them these questions more directly. Make as many senses available as you can! If you don't want to visit with someone,or know that seeing them will trigger or stress you too greatly -you do not have to go. Do some jumping jacks or just a few sit-ups or push-ups. For everyone. Not all will feel good as you complete them - in fact, few will. Yes, we know just how enticing and comforting and mindless this can be, but it may be making things worse. Delineate a plan that includes exercise, proper nourishment, cessation of self-harming behaviors, therapy, a consistent medication regimen, healthy relationships, meaningful productivity, FUN, and so much more. Work with your hands outside: gardening, re-potting plants, planting new ones, raking leaves, etc. Jog in place. (..your gaze, not parts ;) ), If you are the driver, keep your eyes peeled for green cars. So, what can you do? Watch the live feed from the International Space Station (ISS). And you can do this. Keep a 3x5 card attached to your sun visor in the car, or in your wallet, that clearly and boldly states what year it is, how old you are, where you live, that you are safe now, and a mantra that you may find to be soothing. Use safe place imagery if you are having no luck orienting with your present surroundings. If this isnt triggering to you, deeply dig into the muscles in your shoulders and down your arms. You may believe a certain person in your life is much safer or more helpful than they really are; that you "didn't even react" when you maybe did so in a very powerful way; that you're at fault, when you unequivocally were not; that what occurred never hurt or 'wasn't that bad', when it very much did and absolutely was; that you felt fine, content, or enjoyment, when you really felt anger, disgust, or betrayal. If youre struggling with grounding after nightmares, scribble down the nightmare in a journal - just the surface of what it was about. Notice the intense scent and vibrant color. Your clothes, the furniture, a zipper, a pet, a grounding stone, or fidget item. Fold the page over into the book so you can't see anything you wrote anymore. I want to talk to them, not you; you're not in trouble. Loud or quiet? Use safe place imagery if you are having no luck orienting with your present surroundings. There is so much to be gleaned from these pieces coming together, and you deserve to know them in full, even though they're painful and difficult. ), If youre driving and starting to drift, grip the steering wheel and notice all of its grooves and edges and seams. (Please dont do this if youre extra ungrounded. Categories: Blog Mental Health. We want to help however we can. ", "What are you trying to communicate by making me relive these images/feelings/physical pain? TFEC.org PA Department of State Information: The official registration and financial information of TFEC may be obtained from the Pennsylvania Department of State by calling toll free, within Pennsylvania: 800.732.0999. Smell each individual product before using it. List ways you can combat this. Pet a kitty or dog or other animal that may be around. 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